


Everything Looks Smaller Far Away

by Hereisthere_gg



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst, I Had To, Marinette Dupain-Cheng (Mentioned) - Freeform, i just, not really an ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2016-12-23
Packaged: 2018-09-11 08:46:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8972572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hereisthere_gg/pseuds/Hereisthere_gg
Summary: I just decided to basically re-write Emergence (Check out artisticFlutter they're awesome.) except just in first person, as one of the employees who has to witness Adrien's changes up close and personal, every day. Unwillingly.
It gets hard.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [artisticFlutter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/artisticFlutter/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Emergence](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7773556) by [artisticFlutter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/artisticFlutter/pseuds/artisticFlutter). 



> I thought I said that no, I did not want to get all up close and personal, no it would be too painful. Look what the hell I'm doing. Are you proud of me

It's a week into your new job when they bring a new one in and tell you that it's name is #013. You are not told his real name, and you are a bit curious, but in order to work her you cannot get attached. Experiments die and whither and fade away due to a loss of will to live all the time, and you cannot - _must not_ \- grieve.

 

So you shut up.

 

You are assigned to administer meals, and liquefied versions if they cannot keep it down. That scares you, a little. You do not wish to witness firsthand what you've watched through the screens and behind one-sided windows. It may just be too much.

 

But you need this job, and Hawkmoth happens to be very convincing. 

 

So you take the metal tray of food that certainly does not look edible, and you open the door to his room.

 

He looks up at you upon your arrival, and smiles brightly. You have to hold back a choked sound of sorrow, because that pretty face will soon be marred by despair, anger, and months of torture. You will work to memorize that face, despite your instructions to not get attached. 

 

( _Your first instinct is to get him out of here. He does not belong_.)

 

You keep your face solid as a rock as you set the tray on the metal table and you make your way to the door without speaking or looking directly at him.

 

"Hey!"

 

His voice is so lively, the voice of someone who loves life and wants to live it to the fullest. _He does not belong here_.

 

You give him a level stare. "Yes?"

 

"Uhh," he looks down, rubs the back of his golden hair, and decides instead to give you an apologetic look. "Nevermind," he says instead.

 

You leave and begin to close the door when-

 

"My name is Adrien, by the way!"-

 

you hear him call. A few tears slip from your eyes in the hallway.

 

( _You will not be able to take watching his transformation firsthand, every meal, every day. But you cannot run. You must stay, be a constant, even if you must be cold, you must silently root for him and give him moral support on the impossible opportunity that no one is watching. It's not like Hawkmoth will let you leave quietly, anyway_.)

 

* * *

 

"I do not know if I can do this Nooroo." You tell him honestly. Nooroo looks up from the tablet and only gives you a long-suffering look before continuing. He knows that he can't tell you anything that you don't already know.

 

You shut the office door. Right now they are administering his first dosage, as you wander to the kitchen in deep thought.

 

* * *

 

He is quiet as you bring in his meal.

 

"What are they doing, exactly?" He asks. You act like he hadn't said anything and left.

 

But before you did, you gave him a look of deep sorrow. You didn't wait for a reaction as you shut the door and made your way to the kitchen once again.

 

* * *

 

The other scientists and employees do not talk. They are not friendly. They are cold and blunt. You do not have anyone to talk to except Nooroo, and he hardly speaks at all. But he is better than nothing, because he also understands what you are going through, except he's witnessed it more times than you want to count.

 

You take his lunch tray to his room.

 

* * *

 

He gives you another smile, albeit a little smaller than the first time, and you freeze as you set the tray down as you realize that this is really happening, it is beginning, the slow decent-

 

"Are you okay?" He asks. You see that he is leaning back into the bed with one arm, as the other arm is laying across his lap; probably the injected arm. His voice is quieter too, which only raises more sorrow.

 

You do not speak and do not look as you leave.

 

* * *

 

"You are getting attached," Nooroo says. You close your eyes tiredly. 

 

"Does Hawkmoth pay attention?"

 

"Not to the feeders. He only comes to administer doses."

 

You swallow as you realize why. "Does he come often?"

 

Nooroo looks so sad. "Almost every time."

 

You let a tear roam free in Nooroo's presence. It's not like he won't understand.

 

* * *

 

When you come he smiles at you again. You stare at him for a moment longer than necessary. 

 

He only watches you, and you set the tray down. His stare is on your back.

 

"What?" You finally ask, unable to bear with it anymore. You are careful to keep your tone blank.

 

He only shakes his head. "It's just nice to know that at least someone in here has feelings." He smiles at you, almost sadly. "Even if they are a bit sad."

 

You rush out of the room and bite your thumb, more tears than usual threatening to spill.

 

_~~You cannot take this~~._

* * *

 

When you come back with his dinner he looks a bit pale and subdued, and your heart stutters in pain. You set his tray down and leave with no issue. 

 

* * *

 

You give him breakfast the next day.

 

* * *

 

You come back with lunch. He looks a little sick and paler than yesterday. You leave his meal, and take your leave as soon as possible.

 

* * *

 

"It's getting harder," You tell Nooroo.

 

He looks a hundred years older than he actually is. "It only gets worse."

 

* * *

 

The next day you pick up his lunch from the kitchen.

 

"Careful," the chef says. "I hear that he throws up now." He gives you a level stare. "Only a matter of time before he starts changing, newbie. Into a monster."

 

You give him an equally level stare to hide your emotions.

 

* * *

 

Adrien looks sicker than yesterday. You picked up in eavesdropped conversation that he is feverish.

 

He is laid down flat on his stomach in bed, a little bucket by his bed. You do not try to look inside as you walk his tray over to him.

 

"Hey," he whispers, voice tired. You cannot help but wince. His green eyes bore into you as you set the tray in his reach. You suddenly feel like throwing up as well.

 

You do not look at him. "Yes?" And it's a bit of a struggle to keep the swallow out of your voice.

 

"Do you know what they're doing?" He asks. You stand up quickly and turn your back, because he started heaving.

 

"Science," you answer, too much emotion in your voice. You shut the door as you hear wet sounds.

 

Sleep is hard.

 

* * *

 

You are given liquids, just like in your nightmare last night.

 

In the hallway before his room, you collapse against the wall, tears spilling. 

 

You gather yourself and you set your hand on the knob and open it.

 

He is laying down in bed. Eyes lidded and dull. His lips are moving, the slightest of motions, and small, indecipherable sounds are coming from them. 

 

You fail to choke back sobs as you have to lift his body to administer his meal correctly. Your tears fall onto his sheets.

 

"Mama," he says, and brings a shaking hand to your wet face, and your burst into full sobs.

 

* * *

 

Nooroo gives you a sympathetic look. He watched it all, and you know it.

 

"Day six," he says, and you only shake your head.

 

* * *

 

You are holding his breakfast when you see a tall, imposing figure in front of Adrien's door.

 

"Excuse me-" you start. But he turns to you and you realize that this is Hawkmoth. You just didn't recognize him, with his back to you.

 

"I see," he says. "Well, I hope his lost meal doesn't interfere too badly with the injections."

 

You cannot help squeaking as he briskly enters Adrien's room and closes the door behind him.

 

* * *

 

When you come back he is panting from high fever. He still acknowledges your presence with a shaky smile.

 

* * *

 

When you come with lunch he is shaking on the floor next to his bed, and you bite your lip, tears spilling as you leave, food not even bothered to be fed to him.

 

* * *

 

You watch in horror in Nooroo's office as Adrien screams and vomits blood, begging for help. Nooroo rubs your back through your sobs. 

 

* * *

 

You don't even bother to bring him his meal as you watch. Cleaners are clearing the room of any mess emotionlessly and prod unsympathetically at Adrien's form.

 

" _1820 Hours \- #013 alive, but isn’t responding. He remains lying on the ground, heaving._ " You watch Nooroo type.

 

* * *

 

You drop the pouches of liquefied food. The bed is in ashes, and Adrien is bawling from days of pent up stress. You pick them up and drop them on the metal table, and you leave, not waiting for him to acknowledge you.

 

You gasp as Nooroo tells you that Hawkmoth deems this success. 

 

_~~You should've never agreed. You should've called authorities right on the spot, told them that there was illegal human experimentation going on. But no. You were convinced by smooth words and now look at what Adrien is going through. This is your fault~~ _

_._

* * *

 

You enter with breakfast. He is curled up in a corner, sadness seeming to come off of him in waves. You set his food on the table.

 

He turns his head to you, just as your hand reaches the knob.

 

"What are they doing to me?" His voice is a whisper. You can't help but flash back to the first day.

 

"They are..." You swallow as your voice wobbles. "They are changing you. I cannot say why."

 

Because you do not know. 

 

* * *

 

You are told not to bring breakfast.

 

* * *

 

You bring lunch and his arms are crossed, out of sight. He is rocking, eyes wide in horror.

 

You set his lunch down and leave.

 

* * *

 

When you bring breakfast the next day you drop the pouches once again. His arms are ashen, a color that you have never seen human skin turn to. 

 

It horrifies you enough the turn into nightmares later. 

 

* * *

 

He shakes his head when you bring breakfast, and you can see why. 

 

There is dried blood around his mouth. You leave the pouches where you always do.

 

* * *

 

When you bring breakfast you trip over your own feet.

 

His arms are completely black, and his feet and calves are turning the same color. There is blood on the floor and on the sides of his shirt, where his fingers are.

 

You drop the pouches off with shaking hands.

 

In your nightmare a golden-haired faceless boy asks you _"Why?"_ in a sad voice over and over again. You wake up sobbing.

 

* * *

 

When you bring dinner he glares at you. 

 

"What are that doing to me?!" He demands. " _What are they doing?!_ " He looks so angry and sad and desperate and so unlike the boy that came in here, happy and so full of life. You break.

 

"I don't know," you say, collapsing and holding your face in your hands, and you sob. "I don't know, I don't know, I don't know."

 

He's quiet until you stop crying pitifully. You straighten yourself out, cursing your weakness.

 

"Wait," he says, just before you reach for the knob. 

 

"Remember my name, okay? It's Adrien, remember?"

 

You manage to choke out an "I promise." Before slamming the door behind you.

 

* * *

 

When wake up the next day in a cold sweat Nooroo is in your room and you scream.

 

"Come with me," he says. "Don't worry about bring him his food today."

 

* * *

 

You are sobbing again.

 

Adrien is kicking, lashing, yowling, pulling his hair in distress. It's so unlike who he was, the nice, gentle boy, and that only makes you feel worse. 

 

The East wall is completely rusted, destroyed by the new power he has.

 

"He's lost about 5 kg," Nooroo says. "But he was never heavy to begin with."

 

"I know," you say wetly. "I know."

 

* * *

 

You are disgusted at the audio played back to you be Nooroo. You want nothing more than to kill Hawkmoth for bringing harm upon this innocent child for this 'greater good'.

 

You ask Nooroo why.

 

He says that even he doesn't know.

 

* * *

 

You bring him breakfast. The black is spreading, and you swallow thickly.

 

"Hey," he says, and you stop. 

 

"Yes?"

 

"...Are you new?"

 

"...Yes." You close your eyes and your fist and bite your lip.

 

"Oh." _No wonder you haven't distanced yourself yet._ "Okay."

 

You want to ask why, but that is too friendly, even for you.

 

* * *

 

Nooroo has to give you directions to Adrien's new room. This room is bigger, and the walls are thicker and more reinforced.

 

When you go back to your room after delivering his dinner, Nooroo informs you that he just threw it up.

 

You no longer have restful nights.

 

* * *

 

When you bring his breakfast the next day, Adrien is clutching his stomach, eyes shut tight.

 

"I'm sorry," you say, clutching the doorknob. "I'm so sorry, Adrien."

 

You do not wait for a response and shut the door behind you.

 

* * *

 

Nooroo once again tells you not to bring his meals. Adrien is screaming, and you can't tear your eyes away as you watch the thing crawling on his back.

 

You and Nooroo watch all day as he tears up everything in the room.

 

* * *

 

You are given shots and are told to insert them into a vein. 

 

You come in. His body lies limp on the ground, cotton and bed sheet torn around the room. The metal table is destroyed, twisted and warped horrifyingly. 

 

You hold his arm and administer the shots.

 

* * *

 

The next day you bring him "lunch".

 

You grasp his arm again, gently, and pick up a shot, about to-

 

He awakens with a start, and doesn't seem to even see you as he lashes out. 

 

Somehow, he only pushes you violently. No scratches.

 

He attacks the walls, dragging his claws across them and screaming.

 

Security pulls you out and subdues him.

 

You hear the telltale clinking of a bell as you leave the hallway.

 

* * *

 

"He's blind." Nooroo informs you. You cry yourself to sleep.

 

* * *

 

He's more subdued as you come with solid foods for lunch.

 

He doesn't speak as you set the tray down onto the floor. You straighten but don't leave.

 

"Adrien," he doesn't perk. "I really wish I could help you."

 

He doesn't respond.

 

You choke as you leave. You almost said something that would've gotten you killed.

 

* * *

 

He hasn't destroyed anything in a while. You think that's at least some form of helping, even though the food you bring him is filled with chemicals.

 

* * *

 

You can only look on in horror from Nooroo's office as Adrien turns his claws onto himself.

 

You try to find more ways to help him.

 

Adrien is restrained. You feel your eyes sting as you have to bring his meals farther into the room.

 

The mask that shields his eyes is no better than the milky pools they were before.

 

Nooroo tells you that he does not eat that day.

 

* * *

 

You come in with his food.

 

Adrien crawls closer, on all fours, and you choke.

 

He's silent as you leave.

 

* * *

 

Nooroo tells you that Adrien managed to keep his food down for two hours.

 

It's a small victory.

 

* * *

 

The next day you cannot bring his lunch because he attacked a scientist.

 

(You silently cheered and booed at the same time.)

 

* * *

 

The next time you bring his food he is shirtless. His bare, heavily scarred and wounded chest gives you nightmares later that night.

 

* * *

 

_You had to run from him._

 

Nooroo tells you that his will is breaking.

 

( ** ~~ _Whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywywhywhywhywhywhy_~~** )

 

* * *

 

Nooroo tells you that they must find another person with the right gene to help stabilize  "Chat Noir".

 

You cannot help but voice your distress at another innocent human coming here. But it is possible that Adrien may die without them.

 

( ~~ _whichmaybebetter_~~ )

 

* * *

 

You cannot feed Adrien today, and the new victim comes in.

 

It's another child. 

 

You spend all day in bed, sobbing.

**Author's Note:**

> Holy shit this is the longest thing I've ever written oh my god


End file.
